


Waiting for This Moment to Arise (Blackbird, Fly)

by TobyZiegler



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, First fanfiction ever, Journalist, Original Female Character - Freeform, References to Domestic Violence, Team Bonding, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobyZiegler/pseuds/TobyZiegler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this exclusive longform piece for Vanity Fair, journalist and author Rebecca Stanhoff reports on the personal lives of the Avengers and their friends and family. Granted unprecedented access by the team, she discovers how relationships function within the team, how  the significant others of the Avengers cope with their unusual situation and watches two starkly different people fall unexpectedly in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever, so please be kind! 
> 
> This is primarily a team-bonding and exploration story written from the POV of a journalist covering the Avengers. The entire piece is written as a Vanity Fair article. I got major inspiration from some of the writers on this site including Copperbadge and Tielan. The predominant pairing is of Maria Hill and Steve Rogers, two of the characters I love the most from not only the movies but also the comics. 
> 
> So canon-related: Everything is canon until CA:TWS. Some of the events in AoU did happen, most importantly the Sokovia attack, but many of them didn't. If you read carefully, you will see references and allusions to the movie. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of these characters (except the ones expressly stated as original) and do not intend any copyright infringement or offence. 
> 
> More notes at the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a reporter explains herself

EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! – THE LIVES AND LOVES OF THE AVENGERS

It’s a Monday morning in July and I find myself in my best suit as I am politely and quickly escorted through the California offices of Stark Industries. The Maria Stark Building which serves as the tech conglomerate’s HQ on the west coast is a gleaming tribute to the name it bears; airy, spacious and beautifully decorated, reportedly by Mrs. Stark herself, just before her untimely death. Rumour has it that the company’s employees have been loath to change too much of the original design, choosing instead to simply update its security and technology to keep up with the times. 

I’m here today, uncharacteristically early, to meet with the company’s present CEO, Virgina ‘Pepper’ Potts who has granted me a meeting (not interview, her representatives are careful to assert). My trepidation can be wholly attributed to two factors. One, Ms. Potts is not known to give many interviews. In fact, apart from a few quotes to tech and industry magazines and carefully orchestrated press conferences, Stark Industries’ CEO has chosen to remain an enigmatic presence to the world at large and allow her loquacious other half to do most of the talking. Two, I’m certain that the reason I am being summoned to this meeting is due to Ms. Potts and her PR staff having caught wind of the article I’ve been working on for nearly two months.

In order to explain, I have to rewind so as to provide context. In May 2015, the Avengers, the collective noun given to a group of super-powered, super-trained or super-alien individuals, thwarted a very public attack centred in the Sokovian capital, saving millions of lives. It was only the second time ever that the world had seen the entire group, consisting of Tony Stark’s Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk, Norse god Thor and trained assassins with the codenames Hawkeye and Black Widow, fighting together. In the aftermath of the Attack on New York in 2012, the Avengers have become the stuff of legends and folklore, amassing both widespread fans and critics alike. Between these two major public brawls, there have been plenty of sightings of one or more Avengers in combat situations around the world.

After the 2012 attack, public interest in the Avengers grew to a fever pitch and a cottage industry for tabloid gossip involving them mushroomed at a rapid clip. Gossip blogs feverishly speculate on the personal lives of the Avengers, often inventing fights, pregnancies, make-ups and love affairs. Entire fan pages on Tumblr are dedicated to romantic pairings of two, three, sometimes all Avengers at once. Added to this is the fact that certain members of the team have been famous for long before there _was_ a team while certain others have made it their stock in trade to fly well below the radar of not only the media, but often even the government itself.

Tony Stark has been famous for almost as long as he has been alive. As heir to the Stark legacy and as a genius inventor who has changed the face of technology in his own right, the President of Stark Industries has always attracted the attention of elite media on both coasts. As one of the world’s most celebrated dissolute playboys, Mr. Stark has also spent nearly twenty years being tailed by paparazzi of all manner. Since entering his orbit more than a decade ago, Ms. Potts has routinely been the target of the tabloid press which has often rather snidely alluded to a less than appropriate relationship between boss and employee when she was Stark’s PA. These rumours naturally achieved overdrive when Ms. Potts was appointed CEO of Stark Industries. However, insiders insist that any indications of a romantic relationship between the two did not emerge until well after her appointment although they do acknowledge that the two have always shared a close, even familial bond.

The situation is quite different now. Since their engagement (confirmed by a brief press statement from the Public Relations office of Stark Industries and an impressively sized ring that once belonged to Maria Stark) Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark are considered one of the foremost power couples in the world. Together, they run one of the biggest companies in the world, create, market and sell some of the best cutting edge-technology ever invented, appear frequently on best-dressed lists, donate generously to a growing number of worthwhile causes, employ nearly 75,000 people in the US alone and from time to time, fly off to save the world. Despite this, few confirmed details about the couple and their life together have ever been released. The couple have never done a joint interview and rarely appear in public together in a non-professional capacity.

The other public face on the team is Captain America. Until the declassification of numerous files in late 2012, reporters had been unable to confirm that this Captain America was the same as the original from the 1940s. Now, of course, the story has become familiar, though it still beggars belief. Steve Rogers, a private in the United States Army, was the lone survivor of an experimental treatment that gave him enhanced strength and healing, making him the world’s first super soldier in 1941. He spent the next several years leading dangerous combat missions in an attempt to defeat the Nazis with his unit, the infamous Howling Commandos. Believed to have perished (‘MIA, presumed dead’ reads the original official report) in a plane crash near the end of the war, Rogers was instead discovered in 2011, frozen and preserved due to the serum that made him ‘super’ to begin with, at an as-yet-undisclosed location.

The romantic life of Steve Rogers had actually been covered extensively in the aftermath of his presumed death. Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter is the former founder of SHIELD, a former member of the Strategic Scientific Reserve and one of the greatest legends in the defence and security communities. She is 93 years and is still so famous and vital to national security that her exact retirement location is kept secret by various government agencies. She is also well known to have been the love of Steve Rogers’ life. Since the 1950s, the Steve-Peggy story has been told and re-told in various formats with oft-changing details. There have been comics, radio plays, books and even a memorably cheesy movie in the 1980s (sample dialogue: “No Steve, we can’t afford to hide in our little bubble. The world needs saving and Captain America is the only man for the job!”). All the stories neglected to acknowledge the fact that Ms. Carter moved on from the heartbreak of losing her sweetheart to the war like thousands of other women in her generation. She married Daniel Sousa whom she met in the SSR and who went on to help form and shepherd the CIA. She also apparently found all the Steve-Peggy stories at best, amusing and at worst, a distraction and dealt with it all of it with a characteristic British stiff upper lip.

Captain Rogers, on the other hand, has been the subject of numerous rumours and headlines since his thawing, proclaiming him to be gay, the father of several babies, the object of affection of every famous and semi-famous Hollywood starlet and of course, involved in a three-way with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Rogers is thought to be the leader of the team and has spoken in public on certain occasions, but only to discuss the Avengers’ work and often to exhort average citizens to help out with clean-up efforts. Attempts by reporters to discuss his private life are brushed off with a polite but firm demurral.

Thor, the actual Norse god of Thunder, has a curious public profile. He has been worshipped for centuries by humans and is believed to be thousands of years old. However, as scientists understand it today, given all that we know post the Chitauri invasion, while Thor may be worshipped as a god; he is actually more likely a visitor from another dimension, Asgard. Put simply, Thor and his people are a supremely advanced alien race that has been visiting Earth (or Midgard as they call it) for centuries. Thor is also rarely spotted on Earth and is not believed to live or train with rest of the Avengers on a regular basis due to his commitments back in Asgard. While here, confirmed sightings have established that he is in a long-term relationship with Dr. Jane Foster, an acclaimed astrophysicist most famous for her papers on Einstein-Rosen Bridges, her contributions to the Higgs-Boson research and her prize-winning work in Tromso. The couple has been photographed together occasionally on the outskirts of London where Dr. Foster is currently conducting her research. Neither Thor nor Dr. Foster have ever given a press interview.

From the public and semi-public to the compulsively and pathologically private to an almost paranoid degree, we now arrive at the other half of the Avengers team. By now, most of the world knows that Dr. Bruce Banner is also The Hulk. For almost a decade though, Dr. Banner kept this a secret as he went on the run from various government agencies while trying to find a cure for his uncontrollable alter ego. The exact details of how the otherwise mild-mannered Dr. Banner becomes The Hulk are not widely known. Doctors and other scientific experts have theorized from what little footage is available that the physiological symptoms associated with becoming angry (raised blood pressure, increased heart rate and greater testosterone production) in Dr. Banner manifest themselves as The Hulk. National security specialists have stated that this was mostly likely caused by a one-time exposure to the gamma rays that Dr. Banner was researching during his time at Culver University. The resulting (for lack of a better phrase) ‘anger issues’ led Dr. Banner to an itinerant life for years, during which time he was mostly alone, cut off from all human contact.

Before all this, however, Bruce Banner was once amongst the most promising scientific minds of his generation and in a stable and loving relationship with his colleague at Culver, Dr. Elizabeth Ross. Here is where the plot thickens. Dr. Ross is also the daughter of General Thaddeus Ross, a four star general high up in the echelons of the Department of Defence who is, not fondly, also known as ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross. General Ross’ exact job title is kept vague enough to allude to the fact that most of his work is classified. After Dr. Banner transformed into The Hulk, General Ross by all accounts became obsessed with capturing him and making sure he stayed away from his daughter. Sources within Culver University have confirmed that the Doctors Banner and Ross have not seen each other in almost five years and that the latter now rarely leaves campus life for any reason. She is also reportedly dating a colleague in the University’s Psychology Department. While The Hulk has been caught in action a handful of times during combat, Dr. Banner has never been photographed in public and is thought to remain voluntarily out of public eye for fear of unleashing his alter.   

The last two members of the team must necessarily be discussed in tandem, as it appears that is how they live their life. Footage from various missions in the last three years shows Hawkeye and Black Widow always fighting back-to-back. Delving a little deeper, a pattern emerges. Details about them only became available to the public in the aftermath of the fall of SHIELD in 2014. After SHIELD was destroyed, a massive data dump (thought to have been orchestrated by the Widow herself) of classified documents made its way through the internet. It took analysts and reporters weeks to wade through the sheer volume in order just to ascertain the identities of the two.

The Black Widow is the codename of Natasha Romanova, now known as Natasha Romanoff. Formerly a Russian citizen, she was allegedly trained in an elite KGB Unit before going freelance and becoming a mercenary. Hawkeye is the codename of Clint Barton, a former Army Sniper with an impressive record and rumours of having been a circus performer in his childhood. They were both recruited into SHIELD but when exactly remains under question. The trouble is that beyond their identities and some of the missions that they have been on while in the employ of SHIELD, there is seemingly no trace of either operative in any accounts. Most of the records about them aren’t classified; they quite simply do not exist. As some of the best and most valuable spies in the world, various government agencies and the Widow and Hawkeye themselves have taken care to completely eliminate their paper trail with such unnerving efficiency that it is very hard to confirm who exactly Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton are, let alone what they’ve been up to over the years. What little is known confirms that the two have almost always been deployed as a team and often travel, live and train together. While this has led to a public fascination with ‘Clintasha’ there is no way to determine if the relationship between them is romantic. Both Avengers appear during operations involving their team but otherwise have never been spotted anywhere. Seemingly, some habits are hard to break.

The reason I have laid out the public and private lives of the Avengers thusly is that over the course of the past three years, I have found myself increasingly fascinated with the idea that superheroes (because let’s face it, that is what we are talking about here) also have a private life. They too have homes and bills and groceries. And most importantly, these specific heroes also have loved ones. Having analyzed the evidence, I set about writing an article exploring the love lives of the Avengers, not from a salacious angle to try and unearth personal details and secrets but to examine how exactly heroes can also be lovers, husbands, wives, friends and colleagues. This is where we circle back to my July Monday morning meeting with Ms. Potts as I sit outside her office, nervously twitching in anticipation.

****

Few people in the world have been known to survive a charm offensive by the ruthless Pepper Potts. I think, almost as soon as I am ushered into Ms. Potts’ office by her assistant, that I am about to be at the receiving end of one of those offensives. Dressed in a white blouse, navy slacks and grey suede pumps (Alexander Wang, Prada and Christian Louboutin, I’m told later when I enquire), Ms. Potts gives off the impression of being a fashion magazine editor rather than one of the most powerful CEOs in the business. This morning her signature strawberry locks are worn down and she is smiling widely and openly at me as she shakes my hand. In quick order, I am seated, handed a cup of coffee to my exact taste (despite not having asked for one) and I find myself answering questions about where I went to college. It takes me a few minutes to realize that the entire set up has been designed to keep me off-centre so Ms. Potts can charm me into agreeing to whatever she has planned.  Trying to regain a sense of equilibrium, I ask Ms. Potts, somewhat clumsily, why exactly she agreed to meet me.

She gives me a smile that a long-suffering mother might give a boisterous child, “Oh I just wanted to meet you. I’ve heard such wonderful things about you and of course, I’ve read some of your work. I loved your piece on Bangladeshi garment workers and their link to the world of high fashion.”

I relax instantly, thinking that maybe, just maybe I’ve over-thought things and that I’ve been called here to set up some sort of future interview when –

“I also wanted to find out why exactly a reporter from a publication like Vanity Fair has been trying to get my employees to divulge when exactly I started dating Tony Stark.”

Even as I startle, I can see that Ms. Potts remains unruffled, smiling benevolently at me. Her eyes, however, are sharp and are my only indication that this meeting is in fact an interrogation. However, I am prepared. Once I regain my composure, I explain to Ms. Potts the exact nature of my interest. I argue that one of the reasons so much trash is written about each of the Avengers and their personal lives is because the public has no real stories about them against which to weigh the meaningless tripe. The value of a story like this, good or bad, is that it humanizes the Avengers. It lets people know that even superheroes live and love like everybody else.

“There are real security concerns here, Rebecca. Confirming any of these stories puts the lives of those associated with the Avengers at real risk,” Pepper interrupts. “Not to mention, these are all incredibly private people. They have each given their lives to serve a greater cause. Is it too much to ask that they retain some semblance of a private life?”

I sense that I’ve touched upon a raw nerve but somewhat foolhardily press on. I explain that my intention is not to strip away the privacy of these people but to show that the Avengers are people too. Super-powered, alien people, but people nonetheless. And, I argue, most of these stories are already out there. It is not secret that Dr. Foster and Thor are a couple or that Dr. Banner used to date Dr. Ross. My story would put an end to a lot of innuendo and make it easier for the Avengers to engage with the public. I can sense that this idea gives Ms. Potts pause as she seemingly mulls it over. Hoping to convince her, I add that I would be willing, once the story is completed, to remove anything that might affect global security or compromise the privacy of anyone who isn’t already a known quantity in the press (this is not protocol, I know, but my understanding of the situation is that without this caveat, I may not get anywhere).

“I just ask that you consider the idea and take it to the Avengers. Let me interview all of you, not just the public faces of the team, but also those that don’t normally speak to the press and the various players in and around the team.”

“So you want to speak to the wives and girlfriends?” Ms. Potts points out wryly.

“I just want to make this a balanced portrayal. That’s all.”

“Ms. Stanhoff, thank you for your time.”

Before I even realize that the meeting is over, Ms. Potts’ assistant (who I did not notice had re-entered the room) reminds her about a conference call and escorts me out of the office.

It’s only when I get in my car to drive back to my hotel that I understand that Ms. Potts has not given me an answer to my interview request. I call my wife to let her know that the whole trip might have been a wash and that I’ll be catching a flight home in the evening.

Three days later, my editor and I receive a secure email from the offices of Maria Hill, head of security for Stark Industries informing us that I will be allowed to be embedded with the Avengers for a period of one week and given access to the extended team. The email also makes it very clear the final article must meet with Ms. Hill’s approval to ensure that any details that might compromise the national security, the security of the Avengers and their loved ones and privileged information about Stark Industries are not present. If the terms are agreeable, I am to present myself at Stark Tower in New York on the following Monday to begin my assignment. Following a quick phone call to the Vanity Fair head offices to confer with my editor and company lawyers about the drawbacks of the deal versus the benefits of unprecedented access, I shoot off an email to Maria Hill, informing her that I will see her in three days’ time in New York.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	2. Shadow Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hardass Hill is scary and the Avengers are not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who dropped me a line or a kudos!! I really appreciate it. 
> 
> ****
> 
> This is my first fanfic ever, so please be kind!
> 
> This is primarily a team-bonding and exploration story written from the POV of a journalist covering the Avengers. The entire piece is written as a Vanity Fair article. I got major inspiration from some of the writers on this site including Copperbadge and Tielan. The predominant pairing is of Maria Hill and Steve Rogers, two of the characters I love the most from not only the movies but also the comics.
> 
> So canon-related: Everything is canon until CA:TWS. Some of the events in AoU did happen, most importantly the Sokovia attack, but many of them didn't. If you read carefully, you will see references and allusions to the movie.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of these characters (except the ones expressly stated as original) and do not intend any copyright infringement or offence.
> 
> More notes at the end.

Maria Hill is arguably the most important member of the extended Avengers team. Formerly the Deputy Director of SHIELD and the public face of the organization since its fall and the death of its Director, Nicholas Fury, she faced a barrage of criticism and spent months in and out of Congressional hearings even as she took over as the Head of Security for Stark Industries. Her entire work and life history after she joined the United States Marine Corps the age of 18 have been meticulously wiped clean. Here is what is available in public record: The only child of Bruce Hill, a retired police officer and security guard and Carmen Lopez, a teacher, Maria Hill was born and raised in Chicago. By all accounts, the Hills’ marriage was a happy one and pictures show a happy and smiling child. At age 5, her mother developed breast cancer and died within weeks of being diagnosed. From here on, government records reveal a very different life for young Maria Hill.

While there are no explicit statements regarding the matter, visits from Child Services, hospital records and court orders show a child that was badly battered by an abusive and violent alcoholic. Somehow, likely due to his connections in the Chicago Police Department, Bruce Hill was never charged with or prosecuted for child abuse. In fact, apart from a few Child Services mandated anger management classes and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings as well as a few visits to Family Court, Hill Sr. seems not to have had to face any consequences at all. At 16, Maria Hill applied for and received emancipation in a court order that was sealed. At 18, she shipped out to Basic Training; by 23 she had been recruited personally by SHIELD Director Nicholas Fury. Even after going through the classified data leaks from SHIELD, it is hard to find a lot about what exactly Maria Hill has done at the agency and how she rose to be the second most powerful person at said agency well before the age of 30.

Maria Hill is also, to put it mildly, quite frightening in person. Before I arrived in New York for my assignment, friends from the defence community I had contacted for background research intimated to me that Hill is notoriously tough, earning the nickname ‘Hardass Hill’ from her trainees, and is incredibly difficult to read. She has a reputation for being ruthlessly efficient and having a distinct distaste for politics that belies her powerful position as second-in-command at an inherently political organization like SHIELD. In her current avatar, she officially directs all of Stark Industries’ security, handles corporate espionage issues and deals with various government agencies interested in either acquiring or confiscating Stark tech. Unofficially, she is the Avengers’ wrangler, assigning missions, offering ground support, overseeing training and coordinating rescue efforts.

She greets me at the lobby of Stark Tower personally when I present myself at the appointed time.

“Ms. Stanhoff, Maria Hill” she says as she extends her hand for a firm shake. She starts walking at a brisk pace as she leads me towards a set of carefully guarded offices on the ground floor.

“This way. You will need to go to the security offices first in order to get all the necessary paperwork and liability documents done. You will be issued a keycard that grants you access to several but not all levels of Stark Tower. You will need to keep this keycard on your person at all times and present it when asked for by security.”

“Several but not all levels? I was promised full access” I ask.

Giving me an unimpressed look, she says “You were promised access Ms. Stanhoff. That is what you’re getting. I still have a job to do here and can’t have you in places that could compromise the security interests of the Avengers or Stark Industries.”

I get the impression that this assignment was agreed to by the Avengers over the strong objections of Ms. Hill. When I ask her the same, she responds with “Like I said Ms. Stanhoff, I have a job to do.”

“But you don’t always like your job,” I venture.

I see her mouth quirk a little before she replies, “No I do not.”

Sensing an opportunity, I ask “When can I sit down for an interview with you?”

What little camaraderie we had established in that moment vanishes as she reverts to her original demeanour, “You’re here to write a story on the Avengers and their friends and family Ms. Stanhoff. I don’t fall under any of those categories. And unless I am ordered to by my employer, the CEO of Stark Industries, I will not be making myself available for any interviews. We’re here.”

She leaves me at the Security Office with instructions to her employees to take me to Ms. Potts’ office on the top level once my keycard is ready. With a nod, she departs quickly.

****

I am prepared to meet with Pepper Potts to go over the parameters of my assignment. What I am not prepared for is to be confronted with a phalanx of superheroes in various states of relaxation. It is 10:45 in the morning on a Monday and the Avengers are having coffee and a laugh in the office of the CEO of Stark Industries. It takes several moments before my presence is acknowledged, even as I stand slack-jawed and mildly stunned at the entrance of Ms. Potts’ office.

“Rebecca, how lovely to see you! Did you find everything okay? No issues at Security?” Pepper Potts, always the consummate hostess, strides out to greet me.

It takes me a minute but I manage to pull myself long enough to respond intelligibly. Looking around, I see Tony Stark sitting in Pepper Potts’ chair with his feet on her desk, lazily swaying from side to side maintaining a full view of the room. Thor, conspicuous due to his sheer size and long blond hair that wouldn’t be out of place in a shampoo commercial, is trying and failing spectacularly to look normal in a pair of jeans and a grey hoodie. He’s lounging on an oversized sofa to my left next to Dr. Bruce Banner who looks positively diminutive next to Thor. Dr. Banner looks acutely uncomfortable and appears to be cleaning his glasses, more out of nervousness than any actual dirt clouding his vision. To my right, Barton and Romanoff sit almost at attention observing my every move with trained eyes that remind me that these are possibly two of the most lethal, non-powered human beings in the world. Apart from Ms. Potts, the only person who stands up when I enter the room is Captain Rogers, dressed in full Army uniform. He stands instantly when he sees me, ingrained, old-fashioned manners winning out over his clearly telegraphed wariness at my being here.

Now that I have the attention of the Avengers, I find I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do with it. The ever-efficient Ms. Potts thankfully comes to my rescue and introduces me to the group at large.

“This is Rebecca Stanhoff from Vanity Fair. Rebecca, this is Steve,” she pauses as Captain Rogers steps forward to shake my hand.

“Ma’am,” he politely intones.

“That’s Bruce and next to him is Thor.”

Thor stands up to bow deeply, “Lady Stanhoff” he booms while Dr. Banner mutters vaguely in my direction and resumes ministrations on his glasses.

“Over there are Natasha and Clint” curt bows, nothing more from that side of the room.

“And of course, you’ve met Tony before.”

In the early 2000s, I was one of a half a dozen journalists invited to tag along as Stark Industries, then under the leadership of Obadiah Stane, opened up a number of their departments to the press in the hopes of generating some good press to counter a series of extremely unflattering pictures of Stark that had released in the months prior. Tony Stark himself conducted a series of tours over two days. At the time, Stark still held firmly to his reputation as a hardened party boy and seemed verging on manic at various instances during the trip, leading Stane to intervene and call off the press tour mid-way. The very next day, several in-depth profiles from the journalists present declared Stark to be at best, a liability and at worst, a playboy about to take down one of the largest companies in the world, cost thousands of people their jobs and single-handedly destroy his parents’ legacy. Two years later, Stark went missing in Afghanistan.

I was one of only two journalists on that trip who resisted performing a hatchet job on Stark’s already fragile reputation. When Stark was rescued from Afghanistan, my wife and I received a lavish gift of champagne and coupons for a spa package with a handwritten note that read, “Thanks for not jumping on the bandwagon. Tony.”

As I wonder whether Mr. Stark remembers these events, he walks over towards Ms. Potts and myself, drawing the former closer by her waist and extending his right hand over he says, “Lady Stanhoff! Or do you prefer Rebecca? I’m in a bit of fix here, Lady Stanhoff. I don’t know whether to be leery of a Vanity Fair reporter who wants to write about my private life or to be grateful to one of the few members of the press to have ever cut me a break.”

Ah, so he remembers.

“I’m leaning towards grateful right now, but check back in a few hours when my glucose levels drop.”

“In that case,” I smile at him “maybe you should call me Rebecca.”

****

Once we’ve all settled into her office, Ms. Potts (“Oh no please, you must call me Pepper. Everyone does.”) in her helpful way encourages me to explain my intentions to the Avengers.

I go through the same talking points as I did in my first meeting with Pepper. I can tell, though, the Avengers aren’t exactly buying what I’m selling. Captain Rogers, in particular, looks sceptical.

I quickly realize that this is a do-or-die moment and decide to skip the ... bovine excrement.

I spent most of life, I tell them, keeping a rather large secret. Growing up in a small town East of Nowhere Special in the Midwest of America in the 1970s, I hid the most fundamental part of who I was from everyone; my parents, sister, friends, neighbours, milkman, postman, pastor, teachers and often even myself. I kept out of sight and out of acknowledgment the truth that I was gay and that I had loved women from almost as far back as I could remember. I never lived in the open; therefore I never loved in the open. The world of my childhood and youth is not the world of today, I explain to them. Today we have aliens and Orange is the New Black and iPhones and Avengers. And yet, despite all of the progress and change, there are so many people who live with the same dilemma that I did growing up.

Whatever else we are, I argue, we are all of us, journalists, soldiers, spies, CEOs and superheroes alike, at the very core of us inalienably human. That quality is the very best thing about us. And our humanity is at its most powerful when we use it to love those around us.

“I promise you, I’m not trying to write a gossipy tell-all about your love lives. Who you love is not as important to the story as how you love. I’ve even assured Ms. Potts and Ms. Hill that I will remove anyone who is not already in the public eye as being connected to the Avengers. I don’t want to put anyone in danger but I truly think that this is a story worth telling. That’s why I’m here. That’s the story my editors want to publish.” I finish.

Stark is the first to speak up, unusually serious “You gave me a break once, Stanhoff, so I’m giving you one now. But I’m not the one you have to convince here. My love life is not exactly secret and the person I love is as much in the public eye as any of the others in the room.”

Captain Rogers interjects, “Thor?”

“Jane and I have already spoken with Lady Pepper and Lady Maria on the matter. We have both agreed to this curious Midgardian tradition of ‘giving an interview’. But I must warn you, Lady Stanhoff, we Asgardians do not treat lightly those who would speak ill of our beloved.”

Thor, who had been genial at the beginning of this meeting, meets my eye gravely and I am reminded of the fact that while he may look like an overgrown frat boy, he is both royal and divine. I nod intently. I had thought that my assignment here was a done deal but it seems that I am in for a challenge far greater than I had previously anticipated.

Captain Rogers, it appears, has taken charge and intends to go around the room.

“Tasha?”

“I trust Maria and I trust Pepper. But you should know Rebecca that I won’t be giving you easy answers, and you will just have to live with what you get from me.”

“So that’s a yes then?” Rogers checks. He receives a quick nod from the Black Widow before he moves on to her partner. “Clint?”

Barton addresses his comments directly to Rogers rather than to me “Cap, you know my reasons for not doing this. I’ll talk about my role in the team if you want but nothing about my life outside of this team.”

“Would you mind telling me why not Mr. Barton?” I ask.

“It’s Clint. And a lot of the people in this room have lived very public lives, Ms. Stanhoff. Their families and friends are in the public eye also. Or they have powerful supporters who can protect them from the attention that being associated with an Avenger would bring.”

He pauses for a second before continuing, “I don’t have that. I’ve lived two lives. This one, with this family and these friends, I can talk about. The other one, where there are simple people that I care for who live simple lives, that one is off the table.”

Captain Rogers adds, “Ma’am, Clint here has spent his entire life in service of this country and that sort of work tends to make enemies. Clint lived a full life before he joined the Army and the people in that life deserve to keep their anonymity.”

Both Barton and Rogers have made good points and I agree to leave out the former’s private life but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Perhaps sensing my mood, Barton leans in, “I’ve put bullets and arrows in people for over 20 years Ms. Stanhoff. Those whose plans I’ve thwarted are the sort of folks who would have no problem murdering and torturing my friends to get back to me. I won’t put anyone in undue danger. We’re not just talking about negative publicity.”

“I understand fully Clint. You have my word.” I promise.

Captain Rogers chooses to move on from this discussion and directs his attention to Dr. Banner, “Bruce?”

Dr. Bruce Banner, according to every source I’ve interviewed in the past several months, is soft-spoken to the point of diffidence. He is, in person, as far from his raging alter ego as is physically possible.

Before he speaks, Dr. Banner carefully places his glasses back on his face before he turns towards him. He gives me a long, considering glance, “I don’t like the press Rebecca. Can I call you Rebecca?” (I nod my assent) “I take a lot of pain to make my life as stress-free as possible. I’m not really sure having a journalist, even one as well-meaning as yourself, poking around in my personal matters is going to help in my quest. And Cap, do you really want me in a confined space with a civilian, answering potentially upsetting questions? This can’t possibly turn out well.”

Captain Rogers gives Dr. Banner a rueful grin, “No it can’t, but when have we ever let that stop us Bruce?” More seriously, he adds, “I trust you. You know this Bruce. I trust you to keep your temper. But if it makes you feel better, we can have someone in the room with you when you talk to Ms. Stanhoff. Sound good?”

Dr. Banner sighs his response. It seems five out of the six Avengers have agreed, in their own terms, to my interview.

That leaves the good Captain, I realize. All eyes in the room turn expectantly to him.

“I’ve dealt with the press for a long time Ms. Stanhoff and I’ve laid down my life in service of a constitution that would give you the right to write whatever you want. The idea that anybody would want to peer into our homes us doesn’t sit right with me at all. I dislike prurience and salaciousness. This generation seems to think that you invented the tabloids or gossip culture. We had quite a lot of that in my day as well. The only difference is that now anyone can stick a camera phone in their pocket and they are mobile journalists. I agreed to let this experiment go forward because Ms. Potts vouched for your credentials. And I wanted to look you in the eye and judge for myself if you wanted to practice yellow journalism or write an honest story.” He takes a beat and continues, “I believe you when you say that you want to show the world that we are people too. And I trust Lieutenant Hill to ensure that nobody’s safety will be compromised. So for now, we’re going to go forward.” He ends by sending a small encouraging smile my way.

I leave out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. When Captain America tells you that he takes you at your word, well… there aren’t really words to describe the sense of validation you feel.

The tension in the rooms seeps out slowly and the mood seemingly lightens.

I’m startled by the voice of Ms. Hill from behind me; I don’t when she came into the room or how long she’s been there. “So we’re clear about the rules: You get to live in the Tower, attend all group activities, trainings, meals and formal events for the period of one week starting today. You schedule all individual interviews through me. Dr. Banner’s interviews will be conducted in the presence of at least one other Avenger. Your interviews with Ms. Potts and Dr. Foster must also be scheduled through me. If you wish to conduct any additional interviews with people associated with the team, you need to run that by me as well and I will do what I can to make those happen. Your finished article will be submitted to me as discussed with your editors and I have final approval. Agreed?”

I tell Ms. Hill that I agree to her terms but that I have a request of my own. “You mentioned to me Ms. Hill that you would not participate in the interview process without a direct order from the CEO of Stark Industries. I’m asking your boss to give that order. I think I’ve been more than accommodating this morning.”

The rest of Hill’s face is impassive but her eyes fix me with a glare that on any other day would have reduced me to whimpers. Today, though, I’ve faced off with the Avengers and seem to have found some inner reserve of fortitude that I did not know I possessed.

“Fair’s fair, Potts. She should also have to gear up for the firing squad,” Stark muses, a smirk playing on his face.

“Why of course! Maria is the most important part of the team; she’s practically an Avenger herself. She should be included in the article. That’s not an issue, is it Maria?” Ms. Potts asks.

“No. No issue.” Ms. Hill replies, her composure back in place.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	3. All This Time, We Were Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn how Pepperony came to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful response so far!! From this chapter, the build-up is finally over and we start to read Rebecca's thoughts on the team. This chapter is all about Pepperony. So please enjoy and remember to let me know what you thought.

( _Note from Editor: From this point on, unless specified as coming from confidential or other sources, the details provided by the writer have been taken directly from information given to her by the Avengers and their associates during her time embedded with them.)_

In 2015, the Avengers are a group of superheroes without any overlords. Initially, the group was formed as part of the Avengers Initiative by the late Colonel Nicholas J Fury, Director of SHIELD. After the dismantling of SHIELD, various government agencies attempted to recruit, threaten or otherwise coerce the Avengers into joining their fold. Congressional and Senate hearings as well as debates in the United Nations Security Council dragged on for months. In the end though, through a combination of wrangling from the Legal Department at SI, the moral cover provided both publicly and privately by Captain America and by the sheer lack of access provided by the Avengers themselves, all of the posturing by politicians came to naught.

Today, the Avengers are a self-governed group, led by Captain Steve Rogers, funded and armed by Tony Stark and overseen by Maria Hill. When on the ground during missions, they take pains to coordinate with other agencies and law enforcement bodies involved. Outside of that though, they are careful to avoid association with any one government or authority. Confidential sources from within the defence community in the US claim that SHIELD is not quite dead and has actually been revived in a more low profile manner by agents still loyal to Fury. They also insist that this new group is in touch with the Avengers and is closely allied with them.

Due to the lack of outside oversight, the Avengers have had to pull together in recent times more than ever before. In 2012, before the group banded to fend off the Chitauri invasion, there was considerable tension amongst the team members, most of whom had met for the first time just hours before the invasion. As Dr. Banner put it, “I called us a time bomb, a chemical mixture that makes chaos.”

Now, however, the situation is radically different. New York’s Stark Tower, the private residence-cum-office, where Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark make their home while in the city also doubles unofficially as the Avengers’ home base. In fact, the paparazzi that hang out outside of the tower have taken to calling it ‘Avengers Tower’. At 93 storeys, Stark Tower is a paragon of human achievement and also a spectacular tribute to the ego of the man whose name it bears. The building is powered entirely by a version of the arc reactor technology that for years has also powered the Iron Man Suit, and rumour has it, kept Tony Stark alive despite life-threatening injuries sustained during his captivity in Afghanistan. Its architectural innovations have led to various magazines touting it as a modern landmark in a city already bursting at the seams with them. The building also boasts some of the best security outside of actual military bases and is run by Tony Stark’s personal AI (previously a program named Jarvis, presently a more recently developed program named Friday).

The first twenty floors of Stark Tower are all offices occupied by building security, Stark Industries employees and the personal employees of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. As we go higher, there are several floors of labs where engineers and scientists including Dr. Banner and Dr. Foster work. The building also possesses a personal workspace for Tony Stark, which is a hybrid of a lab, an engineering workshop and a rather well-outfitted garage. The security around his workspace is tighter than even the rest of the building due to the sheer amount of proprietary Stark Industries technology that is in development there and I was not allowed to go anywhere near it. Also within Stark Tower is a multi-storey training area that has been specially retrofitted to challenge the Avengers when they train but also contain the type of damage that might result from super-powered beings attacking each other full throttle. The top-most floors of the building are reserved for living quarters for the entire team, a separate wing for Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts and the offices for Ms. Potts and Ms. Hill. Given all this, it only seems natural that most of the Avengers have congregated here. Many of them also maintain homes outside of the Tower, but spend considerable amount of time there.

In the top-most floors of Stark Tower is a massive shared kitchen and dining area that could easily be mistaken for the common room in a college dorm were it not for the plush interiors, the incredibly expensive kitchenware and the highly sophisticated gadgetry on hand. Most mornings, the Avengers gather one by one in this space to eat breakfast, plan their days and banter amongst each other.

Captain Rogers, since his ‘unfreezing’ has taken quite the interest in gastronomy and has even attended the odd culinary lesson (albeit anonymously). From what I see, Captain Rogers has extended his natural leadership to cover the role of Mother Hen as well. Every morning he’s not out in the field, he cooks an elaborate breakfast, taking into account the particular taste of every single member of the group. (Hearty and heavy for Thor, vegetarian and healthy for Banner, plenty of eggs and bacon for Barton and Hill, light and fancy for Potts, quickly digestible and utilitarian for Romanoff, Foster and Stark, the latter two of whom have to be frequently reminded to eat. Rogers himself eats any or all of the above depending of the sort of day he’s having, but always in large quantities.) When I joke about the food bill, Stark offers a quick rejoinder about how Thor and Rogers are eating him out of home and hearth.

Mealtimes are used by the Avengers as a way of bonding with each other outside of missions and training. They make jokes and tease one another in a way that lets me know that these are old friends who are increasingly comfortable with one another. Rogers and Thor are both frequent targets of these jokes due to their lack of familiarity with modern technology and customs as well as their rather startling good looks. Thor, always amiable and quick to laugh, often doesn’t even register he’s being made fun of; sarcasm apparently does not feature heavily in Asgardian humour. Rogers, on the other hand, always takes the ribbing in stride with the resigned exasperation of an uncle dealing with a bunch of rowdy nephews he’s rather fond of.

****

The love story of Pepper Potts and Tony Stark is a natural place to start as many of the details about the couple’s coming together are already well known. Like Annette Bening, Ms. Potts has the reputation of having ‘tamed’ a bad boy and helped him ‘reform’ his ways. While this narrative has an easy ring to it, it is also misleading and vaguely sexist. Friends of the couple, including War Machine himself, Colonel James Rhodes (rumoured to be the best man at the pair’s upcoming nuptials though he would neither confirm nor deny it to me) have stated that it actually took a lot of convincing on Stark’s part to get his CEO to even consider dating him.

Pepper Potts joined Stark Industries, fresh out of college, as a Junior Assistant in the Finance Department in early 2000. Over the next two years, she rose quickly through the ranks, earning a reputation for efficiency and excellent people management skills, catching the eye of Obadiah Stane. Stane reportedly mentored her in her first years at SI and by 2002, she had been made Executive Assistant to Tony Stark, the wunderkind Chief Technical Officer and majority shareholder of SI. In the early days, being assistant to Tony Stark involved being part-time mother (forcing him to eat at regular intervals and cleaning up after him), part gatekeeper (famously having to give his numerous girlfriends and one-night stands the polite-yet-firm heave-ho), part stern authority figure (Potts once had to drag Stark by the arm out of a Vegas strip club to ensure he made it in time to a memorial for his parents attended by President Bush) and some actual assisting. During her time in what she calls the ‘trenches’ she also devoted extensive time to understanding how exactly SI worked and the best way to run it. Before long, she was attending shareholders’ meetings on Stark’s behalf and making corporate decisions at the highest level. As Stark’s behaviour went from bad to worse in the mid-2000s, company insiders claim that his assistant took on more and more responsibility until she was essentially doing all non-technical jobs for him.

And then Tony Stark went missing in Afghanistan.

Ms. Potts tells me that between Stark being declared missing and the time that he engineered (literally) his escape, her world changed drastically.

“I just, I entered this strange sort of half-life. Time would move very, very slowly at times and at other times would move so fast that I felt like I was watching it go by me in fastforward mode. I think it was the first time I actually allowed myself to admit that he was more than just my boss. And I had to keep so many plates spinning in the air at that the same time. Without telling me, Tony, that idiot,” she says, sounding more fond than angry, “had made me his proxy and granted me Power of Attorney. Basically I was authorized to make all decisions on his behalf and on behalf of his majority stake in the company until he could be legally declared dead. And believe me, many people tried to have that process expedited so they could get me out of the way. If it hadn’t been for friends like Jim and Happy as well as several board members who had been friends with Tony’s parents, I would never have survived.”

Longtime employees of SI believe that the Stark-Potts relationship underwent a radical transformation once the former returned from captivity. Pre-Afghanistan, Potts was a stern but maternal figure to Stark, helping him and lecturing him as needed. Stark, on the other hand, flirted outrageously with her (to no end) but never seriously. Especially towards the last couple of years before his kidnapping, Stark’s attention never stayed on any one thing for very long. This became a source of concern and consternation for not only Pepper Potts, but also other close friends like Col. Rhodes and Obadiah Stane, who had been Howard Stark’s close friend and business partner. (Stane died just weeks after Tony Stark returned from Afghanistan when his plane crashed off the coast of Italy. Curiously, Stark Industries employees have been forbidden from discussing Stane.)

Post-Afghanistan, Stark’s attitude towards his assistant changed completely. For starters, apart from one or two brief dalliances, he stopped dating completely. While this could be attributed to his crisis of conscience and his burgeoning side job as Iron Man, his close friends Col. Rhodes and Happy Hogan tell me that it also had a lot to do with the fact that for the first time in his life, Tony Stark had considered his mortality and found his life lacking. The one person whose support he craved, whose approval mattered the most to him was Ms. Potts.

Happy Hogan is Mr. Stark’s driver and personal bodyguard and also numbers amongst the couple’s closest friends. His loyalty to his employers (and friends, he always insistently adds) is legendary. Over the years tabloids have attempted to bribe him, always unsuccessfully, with six-figure paydays to get dirt on Stark or on the couple.

He tells me, “Once the boss came back from Afghanistan, you could tell that it was game over for him. He had eyes only for Pepper. She took her time to come around, mind you. But he never gave up. Gives a fella hope, you know.”

As Iron Man duties took over most of Stark’s time, Pepper Potts was appointed CEO. The balance of being CEO (Potts) and CTO and President (Stark) seemed to suit all parties involved for the most part, except for one matter – once appointed, Pepper Potts, who up until that point had been warming to the idea of a relationship with Stark, refused to go out with him. The exact details of what transpired between them during this juncture, the couple decided to keep private.

Ms Potts would only say, “I felt Tony had withheld a lot from me at that time. And more to the point, there was already so much speculation about who I was and how I’d gotten the job, it just didn’t seem like the time for distractions. Tony is nothing if not distracting.”

Eventually, after the explosion at the 2010 New York Stark Expo, allegedly masterminded by Hammer Industries chief Justin Hammer, the couple officially became just that – a couple.

Not that officially becoming a pair has done anything to smooth over their banter. It’s hard to convey to those who have never been in their presence how much Tony Stark and Pepper Potts argue. Almost no sentence is ever completed without the other one interjecting and their conversations are almost unintelligible to everyone else. However, there is never any rancour or actual anger in their arguments. If anything, they seem to enjoy them.

Captain Rogers says, “Arguing is how Tony expresses interest. He’s rather like a little boy that way. He argues the most with Pepper because there’s no one in the world he finds more interesting. There’s no one he thinks is more worthy of his time and energy than her. There’s only ever been one person who can handle him, I think and it’s Pepper.”

For Mr. Stark, his fiancée represents a haven of stability amidst what has been a fairly tumultuous life. Both his parents and the longtime Stark family employee who helped raise him, Edwin Jarvis died when he was only 17. Despite being a certifiable genius who at the time was actually finishing a graduate degree, Tony Stark was bereft at losing his entire family in one fell swoop. Since then, the word ‘adrift’ has been used to describe him many times. In Ms. Potts, one senses, he has found an anchor. He says as much himself.

“People like to exaggerate when they say their girlfriend or wife saved their life. In my case, that’s actually true. She’s actually saved it more than once. Without Pepper, none of this happens. There’s no company without her, there’s no Iron Man without her and I’m certainly not an Avenger without her. It’s really that simple. She saved me.”

His proclamation that without Ms. Potts he would not be a member of the Avengers is echoed by others in the group. Ms. Potts is clearly well-liked by the Avengers team. During mealtimes or communal gatherings, Ms. Potts is always included. Jokes are often directed at her and she is called into referee arguments on more than one occasion. Dr. Banner always brews an extra cup of tea for her and she is one of the few people in the Tower whom he seeks out for long conversations. Both Barton and Romanoff have taken a special interest in Ms. Potts’ safety by arranging self-defence training sessions with them. Dr. Foster confided in me that she finds Ms. Potts’ calmness comforting, especially during times of crisis. Thor, raised with what one would consider other-worldly social mores, treats her as queen of the castle and accordingly pays her deference.

Much to Stark’s consternation, he believes that Captain Rogers maybe her favourite, grousing, “Oh Steve is clearly her favourite! She’s always helping him and offering him advice. She even helped him buy a suit.”

Dr. Banner, a more objective source on the matter, agrees. “Pepper’s like an older sister to Steve. I think we all forget sometimes that he’s so young. Pepper sees the boy in him, not the soldier. He looks up to her.”

Surprisingly, Ms. Potts closest bond with a member of the extended Avengers team is with Ms. Hill. Assistants to both women confirm that the pair has a twice-a-week standing date for after work drinks when they’re in New York. When they aren’t in the same city, they continue the tradition by Skyping each other. Up close, it is evident that the relationship isn’t only of two colleagues. The two seem to have formed a genuine and deep friendship. The relationship’s depth can seem odd to those on the outside given the obvious differences in the women’s personalities. A person nicknamed ‘Hardass Hill’ and someone like Ms. Potts who exudes warmth from the very moment she meets you should seem like unlikely friends. In reality, the two have a lot more in common than people might think. Both have risen to the top of their male-dominated fields at an incredibly young age. Both Ms. Potts and Ms. Hill have in the past played deputy to a charismatic and larger-than-life man. And today, both women help shepherd a group of complicated yet powerful individuals who could just as easily break the world as save it. If anything, the two women should be natural allies.

As Ms. Potts puts it, “Maria and I are the only grownups in a room full of overgrown children. Children that often run off to fight aliens and super-villains; but children nonetheless.”

****

The Stark-Potts wedding has been the subject of rumours since the moment the engagement was suspected. Those rumours range from an elaborate ceremony on the White House lawn to an elaborate ceremony in Asgard. Regardless of how outlandish or poorly sourced most of these tabloid speculations are, they all seem to agree that the nuptials of a powerhouse couple will necessarily be on a massive scale.

When I ask about the wedding Ms. Potts tells me, “We’re planning it. It’s not going to be anything big or fancy. That just feels like asking for trouble, given the lives that Tony and I lead. No, it’ll be small. We don’t either of us have very much family left so it’ll be friends for the most part. We are just waiting on our Malibu house to be finished and I’m leaning towards just doing it in the backyard. I imagine we’re going to have to have some sort of big party later because there are just too many people that would be offended if they aren’t invited but the wedding itself will probably be small.”

The Malibu home that Ms. Potts was referring to is the Stark homestead in California that was famously blown up by terrorists associated with AIM in 2013. Since then, the couple has spent much of their time in New York as they are in the process of building a new home exactly where the old one stood. I ask if it wouldn’t just be easier to buy a new house.

“That’s our home. That was Howard and Maria’s home. That’s where they brought Tony home as a baby, where he built his first robot, where we made our life together. It’s important to both of us that we do everything we can to keep our home. And we’ll be putting in better security this time,” she laughs.

When I finally manage to interview Maria Hill (a story with unexpected twists and turns that will be discussed later in this article) she tells me that despite her current station in life, Pepper Potts is still very much a practical and level-headed woman who brooks no nonsense and doesn’t have time for frivolity. “She doesn’t really care about the wedding. She wants a nice day with everyone she loves in the same room. That’s all.”

In the Avengers Tower, the wedding is a source of joy, fun and a little fodder for pranks. Although none of the Avengers would confirm what roles they might play in the wedding, if any, Ms. Potts confirms to me that they will all be in attendance. Barton, the jokester in the group, frequently threatens Stark with potential pranks for the wedding day. During my first dinner with the group, he promises to shave Stark’s head the night before the wedding. At another time, he thought out loud how a person might feel about their wedding attire being switched out for a purple velvet tuxedo from the 1980s. Mr. Stark has warned dire consequences to anyone who might come near his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	4. Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hawkeye and the Black Widow are NOT a couple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This piece has crossed 100 kudos!! Thank you all for your support. I've got the next 4 chapters finished so I'll try and update every 3 days for the next week. Let me know what you think of this one, it starts with Clint and Natasha and ends with one of my favourites - Darcy!

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff are not a couple.

I could easily end this section of the story there. It’s the truth, as confirmed to me by the Avengers, by Maria Hill, by Tony Stark’s AI Friday, by Happy Hogan (an inveterate gossip, if ever there was one, when the reputations of Mr. Stark or Ms. Potts are not involved) and by the super-spies themselves. It is also the truth as I observe it, for whatever that might be worth.

While the relationship between the two is close, even symbiotic, it is decidedly not romantic. The pair trade barbs and banter as only partners who’ve been together for ages can. Their conversations are a veritable labyrinth of in-jokes that is impossible to decode. When asked which two Avengers are the closest, the entire team points without hesitation to Hawkeye and Black Widow. They have trained and been deployed together for years. (“More than a decade, less than two,” Maria Hill supplies unhelpfully) Of the team members, they are most likely to disappear for several hours on end without explanation to anyone else. They are also fiercely loyal to each other; any threat to one of them is taken as a threat to both of them.

During my time with the Avengers, I interview them both separately. ‘Interview’ is perhaps a generous estimation of what transpired. I ask questions that are skilfully deflected and evaded. At times, the questions are turned around and I find that I’m suddenly the interviewee. In fairness to them, both Barton and Romanoff were nothing but open about their intention to not cooperate fully with my investigation. What the pair does talk about eventually is their relationship with each other and with the team.

Figuring that it might be easier, I reschedule with both of them in order to conduct a joint interview. It turns out to be a good strategy because they are surprisingly chatty when they’re together.

Who do they consider to be the leader of the Avengers? Tony Stark, who pays all the bills, or Captain Rogers? Without hesitation, they both answer that they follow Rogers’ orders.

Isn’t it hard to have to choose, I ask them. They shrug. Evidently, the answer is no.

As Barton puts it, “Cap is the leader of the group. There’s no question for me there. I mean the guy is literally a living hero. And the more you know him, the more you realize that the comics and books and movies actually underplay just how good he is. He’s not the leader of the Avengers because he wants to be. He does everything he does because it’s the right thing to do. That’s a guy I’d follow to the ends of the earth.”

Romanoff agrees, only adding, “Steve didn’t ask for my loyalty, he earned it. Unlike Clint or Maria, who served in the Armed Forces, I don’t naturally follow the orders. As a spy, you’re allowed a lot more autonomy as long as you understand the overall goals. And as a mercenary, your only allegiance is to yourself. I follow Steve because he has proven to me that he’s worthy of being the leader of the group.”

The best person in the Tower to ask for help?

“Depends on what you need the help for,” Barton states. “Tony will build you the best precision weapons. Thor is the best guy to have your back in a fight. Bruce and Pepper have the most level-headed advice. Darcy knows all the best places to eat. Maria has the best right hook in the world.”

“Why would you need a right hook?”

“You never know when you need to get punched in the face,” he smirks.   

Romanoff thinks for a while before answering, “Pepper. Or Maria.”

“Why?”

“They’re both always the smartest people in the room. And I don’t mean smarts in terms of science or strategy. Those are the two people who are most likely to get things done in the real world.”

Favourite person apart from each other to go out with?

Barton answers, “Thor. Easily, Thor. Those Asgardians know how to party, man! Plus, watching how people react to him is always hilarious. Tony and Pepper are always good to get you into places that might otherwise…look down on riffraff like us.”

Romanoff, “Maria. Girl can hold her liquor.”

Funniest person in the group?

Unanimously, “Tony.”

Most likely to borrow $20 and never return it?

Romanoff, “Clint.”

Barton clearly disagrees, scoffing in an exaggerated manner, “When have I ever even –”

“Romania 2004. Kundu in 2006. Budapest! And last week. And this morning.”

“Well, in those instances…”

The pair then descends into a long-winded discussion of specifics that I can neither understand nor fully follow. 

****

In order to get to Dr. Jane Foster, I not only have to go through Maria Hill but also a tiny brunette dynamo named Darcy Lewis. In the Avengers Tower, Ms. Lewis is designated ‘Senior Support Staff’ and her badge lists her job as ‘Lab Manager’. I’m told by Hill that before I can speak with Dr. Foster and Thor, I must go through a lab orientation with Ms. Lewis.

Darcy Lewis, a dry-humoured, fast-talking, pop-culture reference machine has what my grandmother would call ‘chutzpah’. She doesn’t bother introducing herself before she jumps directly into conversation with me.

“Ground rules: Don’t touch anything. Seriously. You never know when something might explode or mutate or burn or unleash a radioactive spider.”

“Explode?” I ask nervously.

“Explode,” she nods. “My first day here, I opened what I thought was a bottle of ketchup in the Biochemistry Lab section and boom, things went all explode-y. I had to retire my favourite Sex Pistols t-shirt and my right eyebrow took a full week to grow back. Not worth it. Trust me!”

“So I was saying, ground rules,” she continues. “Do not eat anything the lab techs offer you. They’ve all spent too much time without encountering sunlight and their brains have started to addle very slightly. Floors 25 to 37 are off limits but the labs in lower floors are available to you. No photographs. Your tape recorder is okay but your cellphone has to be handed into security before you enter the labs.”

I faithfully jot down all the rules as she runs through a mind-numbing list of them. Security at the Tower, as I mentioned before, is incredibly tight.

“Now that we’re done with lab rules, I’ll move on to my Jane-and-Thor rules. First things first, I’ve set up the interview so that you will be in or near the labs because that’s where Jane will be most comfortable. Second, I will keep popping in and out of the interview to make sure Jane is fed and watered as needed. She gets super-cranky and extra science-y if her blood sugar drops. Third, they’re both not good at registering sarcasm. Ask direct questions. Jokes and quips tend to fly over their collectively gorgeous heads. You’re going to want to keep your recorder handy for Thor’s Ye Olde English speeches. When he gets going I understand roughly a quarter of the words he uses.”

She comes to an abrupt stop and turns to face me. With a serious tone of voice she says, “Last, and this is important so pay attention, be careful how you speak to Jane. If Thor thinks you’re insulting her in any way, it’s over. If _I_ think you’re trying to dig up dirt on her in any way, well, you’re in even bigger trouble. Jane is my very best friend in the world and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her. And you should know that I’ve taken down the God of Thunder with my taser gun so my threats aren’t something you should take lightly.”

Despite having gone through Pepper Potts, the Stark Industries PR team, all of the Avengers and Maria Hill, this is the first time, I think, I’ve been threatened overtly. And surprisingly it comes courtesy of a 25-year old Poli-Sci major who works as a professional genius wrangler.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	5. Far, Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Jane Foster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my least favourite chapter so far to write. I'm not a big fan of the way the Jane Foster character has been handled in MCU and Thor is my least favourite Avenger. I felt completely out of my element writing for this couple (and I think the ending is absolute shite). So any feedback would be great! Thanks for your continued support to this story.

The 30th floor of the Tower is host to a series of labs, interspersed with some offices, a spacious kitchen and dining area and a small-yet-comfortable conference room. It would not be out of place in any research university around the world. In the corner of the conference room, a set of couches have been set up near a large picture window.

Thor, six foot four and nearly as broad as he is tall, is accompanied by a woman who can only be described as tiny. Perhaps it’s exacerbated by standing next to her gigantic boyfriend, but Dr. Jane Foster is a diminutive woman with large, expressive eyes and a cascade of thick brown hair. When she speaks about her research, Dr. Foster tends to gesticulate wildly and often has to pause for the non-geniuses in the room to catch up. She has a tendency to speak over herself, correcting and backtracking as she makes a point. Thor, on the other hand, is eloquent and loquacious. On matters he feels strongly about, he can speak for several minutes uninterrupted. And his oratory is quite spellbinding. It’s no wonder then that his people have been considered gods when they visited Earth.

Thor is also remarkably intelligent. Articles and think-pieces about him rarely focus on this fact. Perhaps it’s because he does not often speak in public but more likely his other-worldly looks and courtly dress and manners have distracted people from the fact that he belongs not to medieval times but in reality is a member of a supremely advanced alien race. Correction, he is not a member but the leader of an entire dimension where what we consider advanced science is considered child’s play. The only difference is that Thor talks about what we call science as a form of mysticism and magic.

The pair make an interesting couple. Where Pepper Potts and Tony Stark enjoy cross-cutting banter and constant bickering, Thor and Dr. Foster pay close attention to what the other says. On matters that do not involve science, Dr. Foster’s words are measured and carefully considered. She thinks for several moments before answering my questions, which is a distinct change from discussions about her research, when words come tumbling out of her as though she’s afraid she won’t get them all out with how fast she’s thinking. Through it all, Thor listens and smiles indulgently; he is clearly smitten.

All couples have a story. You know the story, the how-we-met story. From locking eyes across a crowded dance floor to spilling a hot coffee at the local Starbucks, long-term couples have extensive practice in telling and re-telling this particular story. The Thor and Jane story would stick out like a sore thumb amongst these as it involves alien visitors to Earth, fiery battles and the search for a wormhole to another dimension. And clearly, they haven’t had to tell it very often.

While most of the details remain classified to this day, this much at least is a matter of public record: Thor crash-landed on Earth in 2011 in Puente Antiguo, New Mexico. A small town, Puente Antiguo’s only excitement up to that point had been a team of astrophysicists who had been working on a project there for several months. Dr. Foster was one of those scientists. Thor admits to me that his landing on ‘Midgard’ was no accident.

“The All-Father,” he states, referring to his father, Odin the King of Asgard, “had banished me from my home and family for my misdeeds. I was battle-hungry and eager to prove myself. I had forgotten what my parents had always taught me, that being king was less about glory than it was about serving the needs of one’s people.”

Within days of crash-landing on Earth, Thor had attracted the attention of SHIELD and of Loki, Thor’s brother. In myth, Loki is the trickster god who is able to shape shift at will and is known to be deceitful. Loki led an attack on Puento Antiguo that nearly wiped the town off the map and killed dozens of civilians. (It was also the first public attack that confirmed the existence of alien beings on earth. Though various government agencies attempted to carefully scrub that story from appearing in the mainstream, they did not succeed fully. Today, Puente Antiguo has become synonymous with places like Area 51.)

Loki also, famously, led the 2012 attack on New York. After that battle, there was a public outcry to have Loki tried in the US for his crimes against humanity. However, it is believed that before the cleanup efforts had even begun, Loki had been taken back to Asgard by Thor where he is currently held prisoner. Though there was considerable backlash against that decision, especially from politicians who seemingly relished the idea of a public spectacle that might score them points with the public, several senior members of SHIELD and Captain Rogers appeared in front of a Senate committee to testify that Loki’s powers were too strong for him to be contained by any human prison. That controversy has died down for the most part but is still a sore point for many anti-Avengers activists who continue to bring it up.

In reality, the brothers Odinson have a complex relationship where they as often on opposing sides as they are on the same. The subject of his brother is a painful one and I have been warned by both Maria Hill and Darcy Lewis to tread carefully.

I hedge my bets by asking Dr. Foster for her opinion on Loki. She thinks for a long time before answering.

“It would be easier to just call him evil or crazy and be done with it. That’s certainly the option most of the planet is going with. Heck, that’s what most people in this Tower think. I can’t really blame them for that. We don’t have that same luxury. He’s family to us, whether we like it or not. And he’s helped us at times. That’s not something we can really go into detail about but he has helped Thor and myself.”

Thor simply says, “I love my brother but I no longer have hope for him.”

With that, the matter is closed.

****

Dr. Foster’s relationship with the extended Avengers team is only a few months old. Unlike Pepper Potts, who has met and lived with the team in some capacity almost since its inception in 2012, Dr. Foster’s engagement with the extended team began only last year when Thor returned to Earth after an extended trip home to Asgard. Since his return, Dr. Foster has had the opportunity to spend more time in the Tower. I find that living together always makes instant family out of even strangers and that certainly seems to be the case here.

Of the people in the Tower, Dr. Foster tells me that she is closest to Ms. Lewis, who has been her best friend for many years. In fact, she tells me that only half the reason she comes back to New York so often is Thor; the other half of the reason is Ms. Lewis who has taken up permanent residence in the city due to her job in the Tower.

“This is the first time in years we’ve even lived separately. It’s been very challenging. Thor I can live without, Darcy not so much,” Dr. Foster states, eliciting a loud boom of a laugh from the man in question.

Dr. Foster has a firm professional relationship with both Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, their mutual scientific curiosity having ensured their interest and consultation on each other’s projects. Or, as Ms. Lewis puts it, “They enjoy science-ing together.”

“The others have all been incredibly kind and welcoming. Steve is possibly the nicest person I’ve ever met. Clint and Tasha are hilarious. And Pepper is a godsend. Seriously! I don’t think that anything in this building would get done without her, superhero or not. Darcy and I both want to be Pepper Potts when we grow up.”

I’m curious to know how the couple manage such a complicated life. Thor is not always Earth-bound and frequently has to spend extended amounts of time in Asgard. As for Dr. Foster, though she maintains labs at Stark Tower and spends a fair amount of time in New York to be with Thor, her actual research is conducted out of London and other parts of Europe.

To them, their relationship is unusual, but in this day and age, not really unheard of. The long-distance nature of their bond works in their favour because both Thor and Dr. Foster are devoted to their chosen causes.

Dr. Foster tells me that she is known to be obsessive to the point of monomaniacal about her work. “I actually forget to eat sometimes. I can spend days in my lab or out in the field calibrating my equipment without coming up for air. If Darcy wasn’t around, I would wither away and die. Being with Thor has actually made me check these tendencies. When he is around, I make it a point to minimise my work and spend my time with him. So him being away gives me a chance to balance both aspects of my life. It’s not a path that works for everyone, but for us, this is perfect.”

So is the plan for the couple to live full time in Asgard eventually? If Thor is to be King, then surely he can no longer make extended visits to Earth. And would Dr. Foster then be Queen?

Thor looks visibly uncomfortable with these questions. “These are matters that Jane and I are yet to confer on with any serious intent. I have told the All-Father that I still need time before I can be King.”

“We don’t have everything figured out yet,” Dr. Foster interjects. “We don’t feel the need to have it figured out right now. Thor has obligations on Asgard that are very important and I would never dream of coming the way of that.”

"For now, my work is here on Midgard, with my friends. I am honoured to fight alongside these warriors and call them my friends. What comes after this, well that is in the realm of the fates. Jane and I are happy. That is as much as I hoped for."

As our interview concludes and I leave, I am struck by the fact that despite their extraordinary and mythical circumstances, Thor and Dr. Foster are the very picture of normalcy. In a strange world filled with stranger things, they've managed to find an oasis of calm that looks and sounds a lot like a thoroughly modern relationship.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	6. One is the Loneliest Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get to know Dr. Bruce Banner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While the last chapter wasn't my best writing experiences (or products, let's be honest), this has been one of my favourites to write. I love the Mark Ruffalo Bruce Banner. I think he's played Bruce as a melancholy, wounded man and it makes it all the more poignant when you see a character like that as part of a group but still so alone in many ways. 
> 
> As always, your support has been very encouraging. Please do continue to let me know what you think!

Pauline Phillips wrote, “Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.” Had she met Dr. Bruce Banner, she might have called him the poorest man in the world.

Ostensibly, Dr. Banner’s life is much improved from even just some years ago, when he spent months on end with no human contact, living in jungles or small towns on the edges of society. Today he has friends and allies, is a member of the world’s foremost private security force and is actually considered a superhero. When previously he was hunted by the government as a threat to national security, now the Hulk has cartoons and children’s toys made in his image. After many years in the cold taking on menial jobs to get by, he is now able to continue his research with the aid of Stark Industries.

Yet, despite all these improvements in his life, the Dr. Banner I speak to comes across as an incredibly solitary person.

When he is not on mission, Dr. Banner rarely ventures out of the Tower. He spends his time shuttling between his labs, the training areas and the team’s living quarters. Even on missions, the team avoids having to call in the Hulk unless the situation is notably dire. In particular, Dr. Banner goes to great lengths to get out from being around civilians. The Avengers are invited to a number of public events and charities. While Barton and Romanoff do not attend these events in an effort to minimise their exposure, Thor, Stark and Rogers all have. Dr. Banner does not attend any public events. He has been invited to lecture at various conferences in the past two years, all of which he has declined. Some universities in New York State have asked him to consider teaching a class or two to no avail. Even his labs have restricted access and only pre-approved lab techs are allowed in. Apart from those members of the team that frequent or live in the Tower, Dr. Banner apparently assiduously avoids human contact.

I meet with Dr. Banner on my third day with the Avengers. Maria Hill tells me that, as per our agreement, he will be joined by one of the Avengers, specifically Tony Stark.

“Of the lot of us, Tony is the closest to Bruce. He’ll be more inclined to talk if Tony is around,” she tells me.

This, it turns out, is true. Strangely, though they could not be more different, Stark and Banner share a warm camaraderie and are close friends. Dr. Banner’s reserve and cautiousness are contrasted by Mr. Stark’s brashness and daring. Mr. Stark tells me that they actually are working on a number of projects together apart from their individual research. Dr. Banner is also on the Stark Industries payroll and some of his patents are used exclusively by the company.

On Wednesday, Dr. Banner invites me to morning tea in his living quarters. Each of the Avengers’ living quarters is a mini-apartment with multiple bedrooms, a kitchen and living room. Dr. Banner’s has been decorated keeping the man in mind, which is to say that it is filled with soothing colours and plenty of wide open spaces. There is no television present and the rooms seem to be soundproof. Given that he spent much of the last decade as a nomad, he has little in the way of material possessions and his home reflects that with a somewhat Spartan interior design. There are hardly any knick-knacks or personal photographs; instead the walls are lined with beautiful paintings, one of which is even an original Monet. There is also a small framed sketch of a monkey in Captain America’s uniform which upon closer inspection turns out to have been drawn by Steve Rogers himself.

Dr. Banner, while a pleasant and inviting host, is also a nervous one. I sit silently at his kitchen table as he goes through the motions of preparing us tea. The routine seems to calm him slightly and eventually we adjourn to settle on his couch. Tony Stark, not a morning person at all, lounges on an oversized chair nearby and fixes us both with a glare so as to reprimand us for daring to be up and running at full speed by 8 AM. Then, somewhat defiantly, he puts his feet up on the table, shuts his eyes and waves of our attention to signal that we should begin and leave him be.

I start by asking Dr. Banner how it feels to be back in New York.

“Well the last time I was here, I kinda broke Harlem,” he tells me, referring to the 2008 incident when the Hulk and an unnamed enhanced creature, suspected to have been unleashed by the United States Army, went on a rampage through the neighbourhood, destroying large swathes of it in the process. “So altogether better this time.”

I wonder aloud if it must be difficult to be in such a densely crowded city with all its attendant noises and mayhem, especially when one is sharing headspace with the Hulk. Dr. Banner’s answer is more or less reflective of his overall personality and worldview. He shrugs when he says, “It is what it is. There are very few places in the world that would be completely stress-free for me. I found that out the hard way. By training with the team, I get to let the Hulk come out and play on a regular basis, which helps me stay in control the rest of the time. And as you can tell, I bend over backwards to create as low-stress an environment as is physically possible. I take frequent trips and breaks to far quieter places. I meditate. I like working. I like having my research to focus on. I like my friends in this Tower. For the first time in a really long time, I actually like my life. I think that helps.”

Dr. Banner speaks slowly and deliberately, with an economy of words. Not one to be forceful or voluble, he is instead considered in his opinions, which it should be noted, he does not offer freely. Unexpectedly, he has a wry, somewhat subtle sense of humour and is often self-deprecating. He tells me that not too long ago, joking about the Hulk would have been unthinkable. Now, all the good-natured ribbing amongst the team has put him at ease when it comes to making jokes about his alter ego.

Perhaps the biggest change that Dr. Banner sees is that he is no longer at war with the Hulk. He has come to see, through great pain, suffering and personal sacrifice, that the Hulk can be a force for good and can be a useful member of the team.

Still, the life he describes does lack any attempt by him to indulge in a romantic relationship. Is that deliberate? “This life, this work, these people… that’s about as much as I can handle right now. Wishing for anything more seems like asking for trouble.”

That sounds incredibly lonely, I tell him. He responds with what I now consider his signature shrug.

By his account, being a member of the Avengers has been good for him. What does he think of the rest of the team?

He pauses for several moments before saying, “I think people are always interested in whether we like each other. It’s natural I suppose. In many ways, the public sees the Avengers as celebrities so it doesn’t seem so outlandish to them to be interested in whether we all go and get a drink…”

“Or shawarma!” Stark chimes in, eyes still closed.

Dr. Banner chuckles before continuing, “Or shawarma after work. But liking each other is of such little relevance in the larger scheme of things.”

Why?

“Well for starters, we’re all adults. Except for Tony.” (The man in question scoffs audibly, eliciting a grin from Dr. Banner)

No, seriously, I ask him.

“I am being serious. With the exception of Steve, who emotionally is the oldest of us, we are all in our 30s, 40s and 100s in the case of Thor. The older you get, the more you realize that liking someone is a feeling that ebbs and flows. I can argue with Tony in the morning and have dinner with him by 7 PM. My liking him is ephemeral. And to the overall scheme of things, it’s irrelevant.”

So then what is relevant according to him?

He answers quickly, “Trust. That’s not quite so changeable. The work that we do is very important. The Avengers might be celebrities to others but the reality is that we are the first line of defence against the greatest evils in the world, whether it’s aliens or Hydra. If we don’t all trust each other, there’s no way we can all fight together. I trust these 5 people to not only have my back and protect me in the battlefield, but if it comes to it, I trust them to put the Hulk down.”

Perhaps then, my initial impression of Dr. Banner as a man impoverished of human attachments is flawed. By the end of my one-on-one conversation with him, I come to understand that while it may appear that his solitariness is a sort of poverty, the truth is that this is a life that cannot be measured against what others would consider normal. Through all that he has undergone, Dr. Banner has slowly emerged with something he prizes far more than an iPhone filled with contacts or dozens of party invites. He seems to finally be at peace – bitterly fought for and hard won contentment is the most valuable thing in his life.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	7. Come By Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we witness a disagreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your response to how Bruce was written!! This piece has crossed 150 kudos and I'm very grateful to all of you for your feedback.
> 
> In this chapter, we finally have some movement on the Steve/Maria front as well as some more insight into Steve as a character. Let me know what you think please.

The real story, I discover, is the Love Song of Steven Grant Rogers.

Steve Rogers’ dynamic with the team is an odd one. During missions and training, he is clearly the leader. His strategic thinking and tactical capabilities, honed during the Second World War, make him one of the keenest field commanders in the world. During decision-making and debates regarding the team’s role in the world, he is head and shoulders above the others as a moral authority. Even when the others (particularly Stark) chafe at Rogers’ firm stances and seemingly rigid code of conduct, his insistence on always doing the right thing over the easy one has earned him the respect and undying loyalty of all of the Avengers. Repeatedly, when asked who the team leader is, every single Avenger and Avenger ally has named Captain Rogers.

It is in the course of the Avengers’ interactions during their down time or off duty that it even strikes a casual viewer that Rogers is actually the youngest of the Avengers and has in fact lived the least amount of ‘real life’. At meal times and group hangouts, Rogers is inevitably the target of a lot of teasing; whether it is about his lack of a love life (Stark and Barton), his gaping deficit in pop culture knowledge (Romanoff and Lewis) and his acute discomfort with modern technology (pretty much everyone), there is no dearth of things to make fun of.

Steve Rogers was born during the Great Depression and lived a life of poverty and chronic illness before he signed up for the path-breaking, experimental ‘super-soldier’ program under Dr. Abraham Erskine during World War II. After that, he spent years on the frontlines of what is considered the worst war in recorded human history. Post-thawing, he has spent four years training, fighting, leading and adapting to a new world where most of his old friends and colleagues are either nearly dead or already dead. By any measure, he has had little time for the type of fun that one would imagine a man in his 20s would be having. Complicating this unusual circumstance is the fact that Steve Rogers, by any objective accounting, is a startling specimen of human attractiveness, specifically designed to be as close to physical perfection as is possible. He is, according to several members of the assistant pool at Stark Tower, a ‘babe’. And yet, he gives off the air of a person who is uncomfortable with such a tag and is often unaware of the effect he has on members of the opposite sex. Barton and Stark tell me that they have taken to placing bets about how long it takes Steve Rogers to realize that an attractive woman or man is hitting on him.

When I ask him about this strange juxtaposition – of being considered supremely attractive while being wary and shy of the attention that attractiveness begets – Captain Rogers is self-effacing. I really probe him about the matter though and his answer is revealing.

“You have to understand that I’ve spent more of my life being a skinny little kid from Brooklyn that was always overlooked than I have as Captain America. I know the difference between people who actually find me interesting or worthy of their time versus the people who just like the status symbol that being around me brings,” he tells me. “Maybe it’s old-fashioned of me, but I think I’d rather wait for the real thing than distract myself with anything less than.”

****

On Thursday, Day 4 of my time in New York, my story goes from exciting to downright thrilling.

There is an impression amongst the general public that the Avengers are off fighting crime all day and all night and they are involved in everything from murders to bank robberies. The reality is altogether different. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, all six Avengers have gathered only twice; once in New York in 2012 and once in Sokovia in 2015. As a rule, the Avengers do not involve themselves in anything that can be handled by law enforcement or national intelligence organizations. This means that criminal activities and espionage, while grave, do not merit the involvement of the Avengers. This also means that the Avengers aren’t all sitting around in the Tower in uniform joking around with each other, just waiting to fly off to a deadly situation.

The Avengers have strict protocols on how they operate as a peacekeeping force. Typically, two Avengers are ‘on call’. This means that they have to stay on location in or near the Tower so they can be mobile or airborne within minutes of being called. They rotate duty, much like police officers or doctors to ensure that everybody has time off from being a superhero. Despite this system, Avengers are called into action, on average once, maybe twice, a month. Sometimes, if the situation is serious, an extra Avenger or two is requested by those members of the team that are on site. Generally though, no more than two Avengers are required to resolve a situation.

This system was designed precisely because the Avengers are all committed to having a life beyond what the public sees. During their time off, the Avengers train daily, spend time with family and friends, hold down full time jobs and devote themselves to their other interests. Tony Stark has a company to help run, Thor a kingdom. Stark and Dr. Banner also have their research. Barton has friends and family outside of the team that he spends time with. Rogers has taken up cooking and art classes. He also contributes a lot of his time to veterans’ issues and volunteers at the VA. I’m not entirely certain what Romanoff gets up to in her time off, but I can attest to her spending several hours a week watching reality television, in particular shows involving fashion design, Kardashians and hoarders.

Certain Avengers spend more time on call than others. As a rule, Dr. Banner avoids going into combat. Despite this, his near constant presence in the Tower means that if necessary, he can be activated at any time. Thor’s presence in New York is far less than the rest of the Avengers given his other commitments. After him, Barton spends the least amount of time in New York. Captain Rogers and Ms. Romanoff, on the other hand, spend more time than the others on call.

Maria Hill, who handles the scheduling, tells me that she takes care to ensure that everyone has enough time off, even those that volunteer to be on call more than the others.

Thursday is the first time I’m embedded that the Avengers gear up to go into combat. When the call comes in, around 7 AM, the Tower goes into an automatic lockdown procedure, as a part of which, several floors in the upper levels are cut off from access for anyone in the lower floors. I’m told later that this is a security protocol that was put in place to ensure that the Avengers are not disturbed by civilians but also to ensure that operational data does not leak. As I am staying in the Tower, just two floors below the living quarters of the team, I should technically have access. However, when I try to get out of my floor, I am informed by Friday (the Tower’s AI) that on the order of Maria Hill, I am to be restricted to my current location. This means that I spend the next three hours in my room trying to trawl the web for any news on what may be happening.

By the time this article is being written, the entirety of what happened is already public. Captain America and the Black Widow responded to a suspected alien attack in downtown Washington DC. The Avengers were requested specifically due to the attack’s proximity to the entire legislative branch of the American government, not to mention the President of the United States. The two reported on location within the hour and by the next hour, they had called in reinforcements in the form of Iron Man, Hawkeye and Thor. By hour 4, the attack was over. By that evening, national news was able to confirm that the attackers were not alien but enhanced humans, also known as ‘mutants’. The identities of the attackers were not released to the public but it was confirmed that there were at least 7 attackers, 4 of whom survived and were taken into custody.

At around 10:30 AM on the morning of the incident, the news reports that the attack is over and that the Avengers have left the scene. I decide to try my luck again and attempt to access the higher floors. This time, the security protocol in place seems to have been lifted and I am able to reach the shared kitchen and dining area where I find Dr. Foster and Dr. Banner having tea, watching the news on mute, while Ms. Hill and Ms. Potts are both on the phone in different corners of the room.

“It seems you picked a good week for your story Rebecca,” Dr. Foster tells me.

Dr. Banner shares a small smile with me and gestures towards the tea. I ask them what happens next.

“Now we wait for the team to get back and then I check for injuries. After that, we debrief. This was a very public attack, so at some point in time someone, probably Cap, will have to speak to the press.”

I ask Dr. Banner why the Hulk wasn’t needed for this mission.

He shrugs and gets up to leave.

Dr. Foster tells me, “They really try to avoid using Bruce in crowded civilian locations. He hates situations where he might inadvertently cause any damage to regular people. And luckily this one didn’t escalate.”

Who makes the decision to bring in other members of the team, I ask.

“I’m not entirely certain how it works. You’d have to ask Maria.”

Dr. Foster too then moves on to the couches where now Dr. Banner and Ms. Potts are seated avidly watching the news. Ms. Hill continues to pace off to the side while barking terse instructions into her phone.

Less than twenty minutes later, the elevators ping and five fully uniformed Avengers pour out of them. Dr. Banner moves towards them with a rather advanced looking First Aid kit in hand. Barton waves him off by saying that there are no injuries to report. All eyes, though, seem to be on Captain Rogers who looks uncharacteristically angry. Cowl down, eyes narrowed and jaw set, he strides forward ignoring all other occupants and makes his way towards the centre of the room. Seeing him, Ms. Hill hangs up her phone and moves towards the team.

She starts to speak, “Steve I know what you’re going to...” when she’s cut off by the Captain.

“No I really don’t think you know what I’m going to say Maria.”

His tone seems to give her pause. After a momentary staredown between the two, she adopts a defiant look and says, “You want to do this here right now Captain? Because I don’t think you do.”

“Actually _Commander_ ,” he says, adding extra emphasis to the title, “I don’t think you want me to do this here. I have no problem expressing my displeasure here or anywhere else.”

She scoffs “Of that, I’m well aware.”

“I’m not sure when you think you’ve felt the full extent of my displeasure but I can assure you...”

“The full extent of your displeasure? Really Captain? I think we both know that off all the people in this tower, I’m the...”

From the looks on the faces of the rest of the people in the room, I can tell that this is not a normal sight. By my own experience, both Hill and Rogers are tightly wound people, not given to histrionics or overt displays of emotion, like the ones being played out right now. And the fact that they seem to be arguing over some issue that’s clearly been brewing between them for a while also comes as a surprise. In what little time I’ve spent at the tower, the Captain and Ms. Hill have hardly interacted with each other. So to see this simmering anger between the two burst out at an inopportune moment seems to be startling not only to me, but to all of the others gathered as well.

Ms. Potts interrupts the argument declaring, “I think there’s a place and time to have this conversation that’s not here and now.”

The pair seems to register for the first time that they have a non-team member in their audience and I can see them both visibly rein in their impulse to continue their conversation.

“Debrief in 10 minutes. Clean up.” Captain Rogers tells the team as he proceeds to walk out of the room.

“Ms. Stanhoff, this part of the protocol is for team members only,” Ms. Hill informs me. “We should be done by lunch. You can re-join us then. In the meanwhile, I know you had wanted to interview some of the SI employees in the Tower. If you call my assistant Trevor, he can set those up for you in the next hour.”

It’s clearly a dismissal and I take it as such, moving back to my quarters. On my way back, I can’t help but think that I’ve been given what every reporter dreams of when investigating a difficult or impenetrable subject – inadvertent and unexpected insight.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	8. Do You Want to Know a Secret?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some hidden truths begin to emerge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter and is actually just a bridge between the last chapter and the next one. The next one is going to be long and super-plotty. Thank you for all your support so far.

Lunch turns out to be a rather strained affair. Captain Rogers, normally the convenor of all group meals, and Ms. Hill are both conspicuous in their absence. From their expressions, it’s clear that the Avengers’ debrief did not go very well. I venture a question about the same and receive only a single raised eyebrow from the Black Widow in answer.

Afterwards, I head back to my room determined to research the Rogers-Hill relationship. Having spent the rest of my morning with various members of the support staff at the Tower, I know I will have to go beyond that particular pool if I want to get any real answers; while they are all intelligent, funny and capable people, those that work at the Tower are extremely loyal to their employers and as a result are hardly a gossipy bunch.

I start where anybody would – I go through press archives to look for any mentions of both Captain Rogers and Ms. Hill. From there, I start to refine my search further and further until some interesting details start to emerge.

First, it is important to note that these details, while suggestive of some broader truths, are not definitive proof of anything. Second, it is likely that I never would have stumbled on these patterns had I not gone specifically looking for them, which increases their value to a journalist exponentially.

While it initially surprises me, I learn that Rogers and Hill appear quite frequently in public together. SHIELD fell nearly a year and a half ago. Afterwards, Maria Hill went from having no profile at all to suddenly having to answer questions in very public hearings about how the entire intelligence community failed to check the spread of HYDRA. In short order, Ms. Hill’s name was plastered across numerous newspapers and TV channels on a daily basis. In her line of work, where anonymity is currency, this is a fairly unwelcome change. Ms. Hill (to her displeasure, she tells me later) also attracted the attention of a fair number of fashion and gossip bloggers due to her sharp looks and impeccable ‘spy-chic’ style.

Captain Rogers, on the other hand, disappeared after the fall of SHIELD. This is notable precisely because he is the most high-profile member of the Avengers and the one that officials most wanted to interrogate about HYDRA. The prevailing theory is that Rogers wanted to dismantle all remaining HYDRA networks. Some confidential sources have insisted to me that Captain Rogers was actually after one particular target, an operative codenamed the Winter Soldier. The Avengers would confirm neither theory to me. By the time he returned to the public eye, most hearings had concluded and Maria Hill had become SI’s most high profile employee.

So it is somewhat understandable that Hill and Rogers have attended a number of public events (charity galas, fundraising balls, awareness campaigns, veterans’ rallies) together on behalf of Stark Industries and the Avengers respectively. They are almost always accompanied by other members of the team or company however. Most often, some permutation of Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Maria Hill and Captain Rogers attends these events. During public events attended by all four, Captain Rogers, Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark are always in the forefront whereas Ms. Hill always stands behind or off to the side. A casual observer might not even guess that Captain Rogers and Ms. Hill know each other.

I can find only two events that only Rogers and Hill attended. The first is a benefit in Washington DC for a veterans support centre ‘New Beginnings’ run by Avengers ally Sam Wilson (codename ‘Falcon’), formerly a member of a specialized para-rescue unit in the United States Air Force. One photograph from the event shows Rogers and Hill wearing broad grins and posing in casual clothes shoulder to shoulder with Wilson. Another shows Hill and Wilson mid-laugh while Rogers looks on. The last photograph of the pair from the event seems to have been captured without their knowledge as they stand close together on the sidewalk (presumably waiting for their car) while Ms. Hill checks her phone and Captain Rogers seems to be talking to her.

The second event is a fundraiser to prevent the shutting down of one of Brooklyn’s oldest soup kitchens, a cause close to local boy Steve Rogers’ heart. Several photos from the event show Ms. Hill and Captain Rogers standing side by side while serving food to the homeless. In one photo, Rogers is seated at a table, holding an intent conversation with a homeless Gulf War veteran while Hill stands behind him with a hand on his chair, chatting with one of the directors of the soup kitchen. In the last photo of the pair I can find from the event, they are actually not the subjects. The picture is actually of three of the regular volunteers at the soup kitchen but in the background, Rogers and Hill stand close together, face to face, with the latter beaming up at the former.

Paparazzi footage from the comings and goings at the Tower can be found online and in media archives. Through them I discover a pattern of movement between the pair. On several occasions, between October 2014 and April 2015, both Rogers and Hill leave the building just minutes apart. In some of the footage, they are actually leaving at the exact same time, with Hill always a few steps ahead, so as to ensure that they aren’t caught in the same frame together. Paparazzi, normally a group of people rather sharply attuned to possible gossip, could have easily missed the fact they were leaving together due to how much trouble the pair seems to have taken to ensure the same and given just how busy the building is.

On paying close attention, this is what photographic and video evidence bears out – Captain Rogers and Ms. Hill shared a warm and friendly relationship for several months and often left the Tower together, taking care not to be photographed together. If they were the stars of Twilight or some other teen movie, this would be enough to convince people that the nature of that relationship is romantic, that they are secretly engaged and expecting a baby. However, what they are is incredibly private – two people who have been thrust into the spotlight, seemingly against their will. So drawing any conclusion from this would be foolhardy. Still, it is clear that I have stumbled on a connection that both parties tried quite hard to disguise.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	9. Blindside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a relationship comes to light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to stick to this story. This chapter and the next were originally one single long chapter but I've decided to break them up. Since it's already prepped to go, the next chapter will be up in a couple of days. Please continue to let me know what you think!

At this point, on Thursday evening, I am not sure what to make of what I have witnessed this morning and what I’ve gleaned from my research in the afternoon. So I make the decision to ask pointed questions at dinner even if it might ruffle some feathers. I am thwarted slightly when I discover that Ms. Hill will not be joining us.

“She’s working late,” Ms. Potts informs me.

While Rogers, with the help of Romanoff, finishes with the last of the cooking, I take the opportunity to ask the others what the status quo between the Captain and Ms. Hill is normally like.

Ms. Potts answers first with an attempt at diplomacy, “You know it’s complicated because they share such different worldviews. He’s a soldier while she’s a spy. That’s always a complicated juxtaposition.”

But isn’t that also true of Rogers and Romanoff then?

Dr. Banner cuts in, “Yes it is but Tasha and Steve are close personally as well as professionally whereas Maria isn’t really friendly with Steve. They don’t really spend too much time together apart from work.”

What about the galas and events they attend together?

“Yes well they always have a buffer,” Mr. Stark answers. “Plus, even at those things, Cap and Maria don’t interact much. Just the regular polite hellos and goodbyes. Hill is always with Pepper hobnobbing with the fancy folks while I spend all my time trying to play wingman to Steve. Not that the last part matters because it hasn’t seemed to help very much so far.”

I direct my next question at Barton who worked with both Ms. Hill and Captain Rogers at SHIELD. I ask him if they had any issues or friction while at the organization.

“Cap worked directly under Fury’s command actually. Technically he wasn’t a full-fledged member of SHIELD. More like a high level consultant. Plus they weren’t always in the same place. Maria basically ran all of SHIELD’s international operations by herself. So I’m sure they interacted and she probably co-ordinated some of his missions but there was definitely no major fighting going on” Barton replies.

How does he know for sure?

Barton and Romanoff, who by now has joined us leaving Rogers alone in the kitchen, both let out a laugh before he says, “Intelligence agencies are some of the gossipiest places to work, Rebecca. Our water cooler talk may be about shootouts and alien attacks but it doesn’t spread any slower. If the Deputy Director of SHIELD had gotten in a screaming match with Captain America, you best believe that s*** would’ve gotten around the building before the fight even ended.”

Now that I’ve established that the Avengers think that Rogers and Hill don’t have a personal relationship, I decide it’s time to bring out the big guns and hit them with what I’ve found. I go through the pictures and footage on my phone and ask them what they make of it.

They all seem a little stumped by what I’ve shown them.

“Wait, Sam’s thing was in March! She told me her work in Madrid ran long and that’s why she was delayed getting back to New York. She was in DC?” Ms. Potts exclaims.

“I thought Steve said that he wanted none of us to go for the soup kitchen thing. He insisted that none of us trouble ourselves. This was why??!!” Mr. Stark exclaims, sounding somewhat gobsmacked.

Romanoff interjects, “This isn’t proof of anything. If Steve and Maria were carrying on behind our backs, someone would have noticed, what with all the spies in this building.”

Barton tells her, “Maybe we wouldn’t have Nat. I mean she’s Maria Hill. She ran SHIELD with an iron fist. If she didn’t want us to know, we wouldn’t know.”

Ms. Lewis, who’s been quite so far, says, “I don’t know. I’ve actually seen them together.”

Everyone’s attention promptly lasers in on her. Dr. Foster asks, “Wait, together-together??”

“No not like that! God, Jane! I think my retinas would automatically burn themselves out of my skull if I saw Captain America getting his freak on!!” She pauses for a beat before continuing, “I saw them once, like three months ago. It wasn’t anything they were doing or saying. They didn’t even notice me but I saw Steve leaving Maria’s office. There wasn’t anyone else there and I think Trevor had already left for the day. I’d gone up there to check if she wanted me to pick up anything from that Greek place she likes. I would’ve just called her but I thought I’d pop in and say hi, so she wasn’t even expecting me. She was walking him out when he turned around and said something and she smiled. Like a full-lipped, eyes lighting up, face glowing smile. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look that happy. And Steve just leaned towards her, his whole body, like he couldn’t help himself. They weren’t kissing or holding hands or even standing too close to one another, but I felt like I’d intruded on something private, so I left.”

For a second everyone is quiet, taking in what she’s just said when Stark exclaims, “And you didn’t tell anyone? This is like the biggest news possible! How could you keep this from me? I thought we had a special bond, Lewis.”

“Oh you’re special, alright. You’re a special kind of special, Anthony,” she snarks back at him.

“You wound me, Darcenia,” (“Stop calling me that!” she barks) “First you withhold key information R.E the Capsicle’s sex life and now with the name calling.”

“Children, let’s stay focused on the matter at hand.” Ms. Potts admonishes them. “I can’t believe she managed to keep this from me. I can see how all of you wouldn’t notice but how did I not see this coming?”

A chorus of mildly offended ‘Hey’s are offered from around the room at what Ms. Potts has just said.

Dr. Banner says, “Pepper’s not wrong. When it comes to Steve’s life, most of you guys actually are quite oblivious.”

Ms. Romanoff asks Dr. Banner, “How’d you figure? I spend more time with him than anyone else.”

Dr. Banner considers what he’s about to say for several moments before he responds, “You all act like Steve is this wounded little virgin who’s never known the touch of a woman and who is sad and lonely. He was a soldier in the 40’s in Europe. Did you really think he was a virgin? He had a relationship with someone like Peggy Carter and you all behave as if he doesn’t know how to deal with women. Tash, you, Clint and Tony spend all your time trying to set him up with every woman under fifty with a pulse within a 10-mile radius. You didn’t notice that for several months after SHIELD and HYDRA, he genuinely was depressed. And then around Thanksgiving last year, his mood slowly started to improve. Did you guys notice that he started to spend more time outside the Tower? That he was smiling more? That he looked more amused than irritated when you guys made fun of him? For god’s sake, he went from charcoal drawings to paint. He literally started to see more colour in the world. You guys all have this idea of Steve that you like to hold on to because it’s fun or funny but you’ve failed to notice that he’s not the same person he was when we first met him. He’s not even the same person he was last year.”

This is the most forceful I’ve heard Dr. Banner sound all week and it’s certainly the longest he’s spoken for since I’ve been here. His words make the entire room stop for several minutes as they all consider what he’s just said. The silence ends when Captain Rogers makes his way into the dining area with a large pot roast.

He doesn’t seem to realize that he’s interrupted the processing of new information about him. “Shall we eat?” he asks.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


	10. Author's Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: AM TAKING THIS CHAPTER DOWN FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS TO RE-WORK IT.

Author's Note:

Hey Guys, 

I'm really sorry to do this but I'm taking this chapter down for a couple of days to re-work it completely. Please bear with me in the meanwhile. 

Thank you for those of you who liked it and for those of you who didn't. I'm trying to find a happy medium between the parts of it that I did like and the parts of it that are problematic/out of character. Re-working this chapter also means re-writing some of what's to come next. 

Once again, apologies for the confusion/inconvenience/straight-up weirdness that this chapter has caused. 

Best,  
TZ.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! This work is unbeta'd so let me know if there are any errors.


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